I don’t get to drive in Saudi Arabia because I have this little thing called a vagina. Yep, you guessed it, women can’t drive. A six year old little boy can get behind the wheel and drive his mother or sisters around and it’s ok, but a woman can get stoned or whipped for doing the same… normal? Kids don’t have to sit securely fastened in a car seat; hell, they don’t even have to sit down! Most of them hang out of the windows and sun roofs and press their faces up against the windshield, but women can’t drive… normal?
This is probably the one thing that is totally sexist but does not bother me one bit. There is seriously not a single ounce of my being that makes me want to chant and burn my bra in a feminist craze because I am being discriminated against by not being allowed behind the wheel. In fact, my dream city is one that does not require me to have a car because I am a really really good driver (driver, liar, potato, po-tah-to).
To be completely honest, I have a hard time walking without running into walls or furniture or something else that is completely obvious, so navigating a killing machine that can go 100+ mph is not exactly something I think I will ever master. But, and here is the fun part, we are back in the USA for Ramadan and my husband does not have a valid driver’s license over here! So I am forced to drive us everywhere we go, and “Everywhere” has included a tour of the entire Southeastern United States that has taken us from North Carolina, to Kentucky, to Georgia, to another part of Georgia, back to North Carolina, to another part of North Carolina, etc etc etc. Get the picture?!? It has literally been hell on wheels.
My husband has proven his sainthood time and time again this past month, but I feel his patience may be wearing out. Deep breaths, eye rolls and “seriously?!?! Do you have to ride so close to them?!?!” has become the norm for our excursions. I am sure there are women out there who would feel bad for giving their husband motion sickness or mini heart attacks because they drive like a lunatic, but I am not one of those women. I had totaled 3 cars before I turned 21 and I’ve been a passenger in accidents that have totaled 2 more cars. That’s 5 accidents that have resulted in car deaths and I am still kickin’ just fine. So chill out. We’re going to be fine. At the end of the day all I have to say is… there is a reason we have cruise control in our cars, and other driver’s need to get with it… rain is not a reason to act like you have forgotten how to drive… the right lane is for us maniacs who feel the need for speed, so if you are slow as molasses MOVE OVER… and if you are in your car, presumably you are needing to go somewhere; so please drive like it! This might sound like a little bit of road rage, but I can’t help it. I am from North Carolina = the Mecca of NASCAR. Land of Ricky Bobby “I want to go fast!. Get with it or get off the road.
So forgive me when I take the turn a little too sharp and we hop the curb, or when I slam on brakes because I am distracted by a pretty flower, or when I swerve a little because I am driving with my knee so I can put on lipgloss, sunglasses and fix my hair at the same time. Try to chill for a second and realize that we aren’t going to get hurt, we aren’t going to hurt anyone else and that I will get you to the destination in a timely fashion. And if all of that doesn’t help… just remember we go back to Saudi Arabia soon and I won’t be back on the roads for another year. Kthanksbuckleupbye!